The Sad Death of a Great Car

Up until January 2022, we owned a 1993 Acura Integra GS. She was white with a light blue interior, 4 door sedan, with 4 speed automatic transmission, DOHC 1.8 liter engine (sorry boys, no VTEC). The GS was not a racer, but just the "luxury" cruiser of the Acura line, with some extras: a nicely adjustable driver's seat (including lumbar support), Antilock brakes, sun roof, fog lites, factory alloy wheels, and so on.

She looked like this:

She was bone stock-- even had the original factory radio/cassette player. It was a light car, a bit small for four people, but a nice driver.
After our Acura Legend's water pump died, and wasn't worth repairing, I bought this car for 1,800 dollars cash. It was quite clean -- a few paint blemishes here and there, and a bit of Honda rust on the trunk, but really in good shape for a 93, with under 200,000 miles on it.

Here's a rare picture of all three of our Honda products, together--87 Acura Legend, 93 Acura Integra GS, 91 Honda Accord LX:

When I brought her home, she had no interior lights, and a couple other things. I did some research, and found out that it was probably an electronic control module gone bad. A trip to Pick and Pull got med a replacement module (from a wrecked car). I spent a couple hours of frustration trying to shoehorn the thing into place behind the driver's footwell fuse box (did I mention the car was a bit small?), but I got her in. In the years we owned her, she was pretty much trouble-free -- the biggest problem we had was when the distributor died while Helena was driving it in town. We replaced the muffler a couple years back, too. Not an expensive car to own or run, and pretty good on gas mileage.

In January, she was stolen from my work parking lot, almost directly beneath a security camera. Sometime between 2 and 8 pm on a Saturday night, a scumbag took her. I had a steering wheel lock (a club) on the wheel, but it wasn't enough-- the scumbag really wanted the car. There is camera footage of the thief entering the car, but I have not been permitted to view it (liability problems). I gnashed my teeth, vented my frustration with creative vocabulary, and called Helena to come pick me up. Then I filed a police report.

So until yesterday, February 18th, the car was missing...but the police called me and told me it had been located.

The car had been either illegally parked or abandoned in an apartment complex near Lincoln High School in Tacoma, and the apartment managers called for Lucky Towing to come get it and impound it.

Lucky Towing... politely called Sucky Towing, but really they ought to be called F*ckyou towing...I have very little to say about them that does not involve swear words and invective, but that's another story.

I called Lucky Towing, to arrange a time to get my STOLEN car, on a Saturday morning, out of their impound lot. 536 dollars changed hands, and out in the lot I saw the car for the first time in weeks.

• All four alloy wheels were gone, replaced by crappy tires and "donut" spares.
• Driver's window was gone, and the hole covered by plastic taped over the door and roof.

I had to crawl into the car from the passenger's seat, over a pile of blankets and clothes that an illegal squatter had left there, to get into the front seat.

• Ignition switch had been torn out--literally torn. No key needed now--any flat bladed metal piece will do!
• Interior panel of driver's door was gone.
• Factory radio had been ripped out.
• The words "Lick it down" were written in black marker or paint on the glove box. (I was able to remove this graffiti at home -- small mercies for the car.)
• Back seats and trunk full of stuff (we'll get to that later)

I tried to start it...and it started right up, much to my surprise...and I could tell right away, somebody had ripped out thecatalytic converter. Those are a very common theft item right now because the precious metals inside them is worth a few hundred dollars. To replace one....well, for this car it's about 200 dollars (+ labor).

at first I couldn't put the car in gear, because the transmission lever lock was activated. But scumhead thieves had buggered it up with a screwdriver so they could drive it. So I stuck the key in the lock, and shifted into D. She rolled forward.

So I drove it home -- loud engine, bathed in carbon monoxide (good thing the sunroof opened!), no visibilty through the plastic "window" to my left, on the crappy mismatched tires and spare tires.

And here is what she looks like now:

The front plate was literally ripped off the frame. They didn't even bother trying to unbolt it. Why they would only steal that plate, and not the rear plate (with the license tabs) is a mystery.

Why look, a spare tire on the FRONT wheel of a front-wheel drive car! What good thinking!

Those nice factory alloy rims you can see in the first picture are gone, sold off-- eBay has those wheels for 152 dollars apiece... hey, that's 600 dollars to spend on dope!

Oh, look, a full sized crappy wheel is back here! Maybe it looks cooler with the smaller wheel down in front.

Let's look at the other side...

More crappy tires, and that lovely new "window." You can't see it here, but the GAS CAP is missing from the filler neck. Some crap-for-brains lost or sold the gas cap and stuffed a glove in there. (Fuel injected cars really do need that cap for correct fuel pressure.)

Let's look inside-- ready?

Look at all that junk in the back seat and on the floor! (and the mud on the seat) Down below I'll put a list of what I found...

Here's another shot of the back seat:

That black object on the seat is the remains of the car stereo. The broken, twisted remains of the front plate of the unit was in the trunk. I guess they decided to pull it in such a manner that it would be junk afterwards. But hey -- it was only a radio/cassette player, with anti-theft coding! What are those random car parts on the floor?

And now...brace yourself...the front seats--

This picture was taken AFTER I had pulled out all the blankets and other clothing piled up on the seat. All that went straight to the trash -- no desire to try to save ANY of that. Apparently somebody had been "living" in the car for a while. Probably not the same person who stole it, but you never know. What a nice decoration on the glove box! Did the green cord actually connect to a music device or not? I eventually pulled about 4 of those USB cords out of the car.
Why is there a mask on the steering wheel? See the jagged, gaping hole where the ignition lock used to be? See what used to be a keyhole to the right of the shift selector post? Are those cans of tuna? (Yes, they are...and there were more....)

And the other seat:

The whole panel and window-- stripped right out. I guess that somebody who had a wrecked door scored a new window and panel. And is that lock jimmying device lying on the seat? Why, yes! One of two I found in the car, actually.

Let's open the trunk:

Hey, there's the front plate of the stereo! And a crock pot? And a roll of toilet paper! And some hefty tow straps?! Hey, there's a half a bag of dog food in there...

Things found in the car (in no particular order):

• the lower half of a broken laptop computer (junk)
• the metal end of a shovel (broken off handle)
• 4 cigarette lighters (none of them worked)
• 4 pocket knives
• a small sharpening stone, well used
• one small straight razor (!)
• a damaged crack pipe made from a small Fireball whiskey bottle
• a crack vial and bits of a pipe (pictured below)
  • 
• various bits of foil with black "tar" on them -- heroin remnants, I believe.
• a syringe still in its sterile (?) packaging (!)
• at least six replacement razor blades for a utility knife, some with black residue on them (used to cut drugs, I believe).
• 3 flashlights -- two of which work.
• A small USB powered speaker
• a dog harness rated for a 50 pound dog (It still had the tag on it)
• a dog leash
• a push broom
• some kind of metal dolly/ tool caddy.
• a plastic crate with what appears to be drywall tape or something similar and a couple other tools.
• two halogen headlight bulbs (maybe for this car? I haven't tried the headlights yet)
• a stack of clothing and blankets, including brand new socks
• three floor jacks
  • one with a broken socket where the handle should attach
  • an identical one to the previous
  • a larger one, with handle-- this one I'm keeping
• my lug nut spanner wrench
• the original tire wrench which came with the car
• my scissor jack
• tools
  • an astounding array of miscellanous sockets
  • some ratchets
  • a small bent ratchet -- not broken, but bent at a 40 degree angle. I wonder what happened?.
  • a red Craftsman tool box with what might be matching sockets -- score!
  • a tackle box with more tools
• food
  • 4 cans of tuna
  • 2 cans of chicken chili
  • 3 un-opened jars of Ragu spaghetti sauce
  • a couple used dirty bowls
  • various bits of dog kibble and Doritos on the floor and between the seats
  • half bag of dry dog food in the trunk
• a large plastic bowl (empty and clean). Maybe a dog watering bowl?
• screws all over the place
• two "slim jim" lock openers-- a useful tool for unlawful entry into poor unsuspecting cars!
• Some car parts --
  • a brake cylinder, maybe?
  • some small relays
  • a 30 amp fuse
  • the trim piece for the driver's window
  • and some other things...
• at least 5 USB charging cords (various ends--USB C, USB mini, Apple Lightning...)
• the cover for the ECU computer (which was still in the car, or else I could not have driven it home)
• door window trim bits for the missing window.
• A damaged tool battery charger
• bicycle handlebars
• a rifle cartridge (my neighbor said it was a tracer round (!)) and an empty rifle shell.

What was in the trunk? Watch this video to find out as I unbox it!

What the engine bay is supposed to look like (mine USED to look like this):

What mine looks like:

What's missing?

That big hole is where the took both the primary and secondary air filters AND THEIR HOUSINGS out...God only knows why...
And the battery you see there? It's not the one I had in it. I just bought a new one 2 months ago, and this isn't it. The negative cable has been buggered, too -- see the fraying by the clamp? half the wires are broken.